As of last night, I finished my first crochet scarf. Instead of taking 2-3 years, this one took around 4-5 days and ended up around 70″ though could be stretched to around 78″. In total, probably around 20 hours, though more like a little over 17. I started off really slow and then found myself able to see where to crochet (my biggest problem in the beginning was that I couldn’t see where to crochet. My housemate gave me tips but she wasn’t around long enough for me to ask and videos only show so much), how to crochet faster, how to hold the yarn better, etc. I guess it’s just me, but when I have too much time on my hands, I just dive into one project after the next. Though after crocheting so much, my hands feel like some mild carpel tunnel… I’ve learned my lesson now…
My next crochet project is a dog sweater or should I say, “Weenie Sweater” since it’ll be to the measurements of our weenies. On and off, another housemate and I have been waiting for our crochet pro housemate to show us the ropes in dog sweater crocheting, but she is busy with work. We don’t blame her. So in the meantime, we’re following a video on youtube, but since my other housemate is starting up her own new “hobby”, the dog sweater will end up pending since it’s supposed to be a group thing…. or I’ll just finish it in my own time (once my hands don’t hurt as much anymore) and then just teach her afterwards. Though it’s rather hard following a video since either the lighting isn’t good enough for a clear view or the angle is just slightly off that unless you have previously crocheted to a certain level, it’s rather hard to understand and I just found myself just going with the flow hoping that what I’m doing is right and that I wouldn’t have to unravel all that work.
Aside from that, the love of my life is coming back from his over 3 week international trip tomorrow. I’m so excited to see him at the airport. But between a phone interview tomorrow for a writing gig, getting there, and waiting for him… I think it’d be best to start the next novel on my list since I imagine there will be some downtime between all that rush.
Next novel on my list: The Night Circus
As of today, I have finally finished creating 1000 cranes. As for my wish… the more I thought of it, the more I wanted to make this wish worth it. It was long hours of creating these cranes since I wanted to finish making them before December (or at least by the end of the year) and I wanted to tie up any loose ends. So finally I have finished.
It’s such a great feeling since this project felt endless. I remember the countdowns everyday. 800 more to go… 834 more to go… 790 more to go… and these past few days, I became more and anxious to complete it. 89 more cranes to go… 50 more cranes to go… 10 more cranes to go…. Now that I’ve come to the end and earned my mythical “one wish” I don’t know what to wish for. Originally when I first started I had one wish in mind. Now I’ve come to realize that there are more things that I want to wish for that I wonder if I could articulate it in a way that I can have all that I desire in that one wish since they are all related. Then what came to mind was if such a wish does come true, would it be similar to that of a genie’s wish? That even after figuring out a way to have all desires in one wish, I would still have to elaborate it in such a way that it cannot be mistaken for other things.
The more I thought about it, the more I laughed at myself. I know it’s childish of me to work so hard for that “one wish” that may or may not come true. As much as I do understand that creating 1000 cranes for a wish is more of a symbolic way of saying, “If you work hard and don’t give up, you can achieve anything”, but who knows, maybe it will come true.
Until I figure it out… I shall continue pondering…
So as of yesterday, I finally finished that course in Meditation. It was nice until… age maybe 14 or so? I just lost interest. It started out great. The basics was definitely what I needed to hear and I felt good about meditating, but once day 13… 14 hit, that was supposed to be the more I guess “Intermediate” level of thought or “profoundness” and even at the end of the course when they reached “Advanced”, I just found myself resisting.
It’s weird to me. I’ve always been quite found of spiritual things and becoming enlightened, and yet, here I was resisting to something spiritual and enlightening. I know I was wrong to feel that way, but at the same time, I suppose I was so excited to learn something new, something so profound and then… it fizzled. After taking some more time to think about things, I finally came to terms that I spent most of my life in “meditation” or self-reflection would be the better term. All these profound thoughts to meditate on… I had as a tween, teenager and in my early 20s. Back then I had toooo much time on my hands and too many hurt feelings to feel that I spent countless nights laying there in bed reflecting on life. I suppose you could say that it’s something that comes naturally to me.
To add fuel to the fire, Rei sent me a book to read – one that her cousin raved about saying that it changed her perspective and it was so enlightening. After reading through 40% of the book, I had to be honest with Rei that I already knew all of this. I could even pinpoint the year and the moment when I had those epiphanies, even what lead to it. So then it made me question, does the average person just not reflect on their lives and how their actions affect other people?
In a recent conversation with Lady Cat, I asked her about her younger sister wanting to join us on our adventures. Lady Cat told me that her sister wanted to spend more time with her, hence she wanted to join us on our adventure. An odd thing to say, though I wonder if there’s a hint of jealousy or the stereotypical younger sister wanting to do everything her older sister does – including hanging out with her friends.
There was one instance in the past that I had agreed for her younger sister to join us. Although it was supposed to be our “bff-reunion-day” (after not seeing each other for over half a year), it turned into “sisters day” where her younger sister would want her attention and I became the third wheel. It’s quite an awkward moment when you become the third-wheel to your best friend and your best friend’s sister… especially when you’re the driver… After that, without my mentioning, we try to avoid any further sisters days.
I value my time with my good friends and best friends. They mean the world to me – the people who stuck by me through all the craziness, cheer me on, try to help me become better,etc. Maybe I’m being selfish, but that little time that I have with them, I can’t say I’m a fan of sharing it, especially if we don’t meet that often. But then again, who wouldn’t feel that way?
I once had a housemate that was… questionable. There were clear signs of illegal drugs that she might have taken on her nights out that I wouldn’t question if she did other substances. She was a girl who seemed to curse her fate, but looking from the inside out, she just seemed like a girl who was lost and looking for stability – a love to call her own and something tangible to remind her that she is in fact, alive.
Now all things aside, this housemate went from job-to-job-to-job. After moving in she got into a job where she was making food for other people. That started to make me question if drug tests are taken, but I suppose fast food places don’t care as much or so I thought until later she earned her way into a career at a Fortune 500 company’s warehouse site. Now I’m starting to question whether drug tests are as great of an indicator as companies make it seem. “You must pass the drug test before you can start.” The words that I’ve heard many times for many companies, but if they are not as reliable as they claim to be, then what of the work? I suppose at the end of the day it’ll surface when it surfaces… or so one would hope… at least before the name of the company is tarnished by the drug test that wasn’t as accurate as claimed…
Since maybe… August? September? I’ve been on-and-off working on making 1000 cranes. My roommate accidentally bought a box of origami paper to make 1000 cranes rather than paper stars so she just gave it to me since I know how make paper cranes. A few months in and so far I’ve gotten down to 600 more to go. I can’t say it’s easy. It takes a lot of time and dedication, especially if you want to do more than 10 a day or even 50 a day or however much you decide. I started out with 20 a day which was reduced to 10 a day then reduced again to 5 a day and October came and went without me making a single one. It was after I finished knitting my first scarf that I thought that it’s high-time I finish making those cranes too. So in a matter of a few days I made 100 cranes. It’s been tough.
Sure the movements are repetitive, but sitting for that long to create so many and then continuously do so… it takes so much patience and concentration. Honestly, I’ve grown used to doing such things, but still… it made me realize that as much as I want to do things as obsessively as I used to, that car accident that happened still is a hindrance to me right now. After about 15 cranes, my back has already started to give out, so I’m trying to figure out alternative methods to getting it done. So far I’ve tried making 10 cranes here and there throughout the day, which now has changed to me folding a bunch half way earlier in the day and then folding it to completion later in the day. It feels like it takes less time, though in theory it shouldn’t. (It’s amazing what you can trick the mind into thinking.) But we shall see. I hope to get them done by the end of the year… or maybe even by the end of November.
Often times, people in my life would ask me how is it that I know so much about everything. Well, I do not know everything, but if I did know everything, that would be awesome! Jokes aside, I learned through the years that the more you are curious, the more you learn. I’ve spent most of my younger years learning through textbooks, novels, and through the lives of others around me. Yet what I was missing was the part where I went out and searched for my own answers. It was harder back then… I wasn’t in the environment that nourished curiosity. If anything, curiosity was squashed faster than an army of ants down a busy street. So the more I resisted, the more I learned.
Now with the age of you-can-learn-anything-on-youtube, it’s not hard to learn anything new. Though some things are better to be taught in person…It’s a certain of level of experience that you can gain by watching it in person rather than the angle chosen by the person who posted the video. Also, when in person, you could ask the person questions as they come to mind. I digress.
I feel like more people should be curious. I very much dislike environments and the people who are okay with squashing the curiosity of young children. Where’s the magic? Where’s that spark that will allow them to go out and look for it? I feel that those who resisted, are those that end up big – the ones that kept their spark and the magic alive. But that’s hard! It’s not like we knew since we were young that we shouldn’t be so obedient. Like we knew what was right and what was wrong… at least to our parents, but it was only until we were older that we built that for ourselves or that we should.
To keep it short, I hope everyone brings back that spark in them to be curious, because it’s okay to be curious. It’s okay to have a different right and wrong than other people (as long it’s legal) and it’s okay to try something new.