My mom has yelled at me countless times today, “You are a woman. You have to wake up early to clean the entire house and cook for the family. You’re not supposed to sleep in until 12 and make me do all that. I’m old, you should be serving me while I should be doing nothing.”
I hope I’m not the only one that can hear the sound of a car screeching to a halt. To me, this IS a slap to the face. Since I’m working full-time now, I’m dead tired. I’m dealing with a boss that doesn’t listen so I have to constantly repeat myself that what he wants is impossible, I want to assume that since I’m an introvert being around so many people just drains me more than I realize, I have long days (where lunch is only 30 mins and I eat at my desk while working) + an hour long commute both ways, and then when I want to come home to relax, instead I come home to my mom wanting to talk about her feelings and how much she hates me. Within all of this, I have to deal with my own things. If I want a better job, there’s my writer’s portfolio that I am currently trying to build up with writing samples, there’s me trying to learn Japanese/Spanish (since both languages are very helpful to me if I want to apply for certain companies in the future), and then there’s me trying to learn more about writing. There’s so many rules to learn that I really just need to crack at it everyday. My stress level is already at the peak and then she goes and says, “Because you’re a woman you have to cook and clean. That’s what women do, we cook and clean for our husband and children.” What burns me the most is when she goes as far as to say, “Yeah, well maybe you need a husband and give birth to some children before you realize how hard it is.” Uhhh WHAT?! Fact: My mom was a homemaker the entire time that she raised my brothers and me and even now, so she doesn’t know what it even means to work. She never had to deal with raising us kids and balancing that out with a work life. Yet, she goes and says something like “Go get a husband and make kids”. What kind of mother says that kind of thing?!
It’s funny. Most girls my age probably would’ve done so in spite. “Well you told me to get knocked up, so I did. What? So I’m bad now for listening to you?” There are a few people that I’ve heard of that have done and said such things. In a way, I do applaud them for being bold, but at the same time, seeing as how their lives went down the drain for this bit of revenge, bold and rash are not a good mix for revenge. Anyway, so I don’t bother to change to please her. I clean the bathrooms and do all the laundry without fail. I make my own lunches and sometimes make my second older brother’s “lunch” since he works the graveyard shift. To me, that’s good enough. I’m just going to be extremely tired if I have to wake up at 7am on a Saturday and a Sunday just to clean the house and cook for the family then stay up late at night trying to get everything in. At the same time I know for a fact that even if I did do all of this, she’ll just complain that she has nothing to do and then cause more problems for me. Then she’ll want to talk about her feelings more. Then she’ll want to spend more time with me while watching me do the chores. I am introvert who LOVES/NEEDS alone time. You can imagine how much this stresses me out.
At the same time, I really don’t appreciate her comments. I know what’s right for me. So what if I don’t fold up my bed the way Asians do? I’m tired most days. I want to crawl in and out of bed to maximize my sleep time. So what if I don’t wake up until 12 on a Saturday and Sunday? I have a mild case of insomnia because of her (back from the days where I would go to bed at 1am after studying, and have to wake up at 6 in the morning, but she decides that she wants to argue and cause a ruckus from 3 am to 5 am) that I’m still waking up 3-4 times a night, making me more tired than I should be.
Long story short, that reason is idiotic. I have better things to do with my life than learn how to cook and clean more than I already know. I can survive and maintain a house with what I know, why would I need to spend time learning more when I have more important things to do with my life. Is this a frustration because of a generation gap? That is what I really wonder…